Wednesday, June 20

Machismo is cheesy - A book review

Becoming the Kind Father
A Son's Journey

Are you a guy that has trouble showing his true feelings to your wife, kids or friends? Do you drink too much, kick the dog and think you have to be this macho MoFo?

I am sure a lot of you will not find this shocking, but I have always found it hard to relate to guys. Not every guy, and not guys in a man-on-man way, but I have always been able to buddy up to girls easier than guys. The reason I think this is, is that many guys always have their guards up. They have to act macho. I do not mean ALL guys. Guys feel they can't talk about face wash or planting flowers, or that sweater they love at Jcrew. There is a place for dudes being dudes, but not being able to let go and express your feelings to your wife or girlfriend, well, it's just sad!

I do not have anything against macho dudes, other than I cannot relate to them in social settings. That is why, when I stumbled onto this book "Becoming the Kind Father," I decided to grab it. Actually my coworker Nancy said "Dave, why do you need that book, you ARE going to be a kind father?" At first, I was unsure of the title but it had Kind Father in it and I thought, well, I WANT to make sure I am one, but little did I know that this book was going to answer many of the questions I have about why many guys are not on the softer side and as a result why many boys become so macho. From what I have read so far, we can blame our dads for this.

The book answers many questions us guys [sic] might have about ourselves. It helps to explain why men cannot connect with their feminine side or why they have trouble getting along with their mates, expressing their true feelings. Instead they hide behind a cement wall of machismo.

Calvin Sandborn does a terrific job of explaining this phenomena.

"The macho society that held John Wayne as a role model has created an emotional wasteland where eighty percent of men are unable to accurately express their feelings, and where that same percentage feel estranged from their fathers. The stifled male, disconnected and out of touch, fills the void with apathy or anger and the toll is staggering: short unhealthy lives, ruined relationships and damaged children. This destructive behavior repeats itself in the next generation as the sins of the father continue the cycle."

I like the way the book has broken out all the words macho dads have used on us over the years like: Buck up, be a man, or Stop crying and be a man. Step up! or What are you, a wuss?

Here is just a few bullet points from the website on how to identify with yourself and your son/daughter.
  • identify and share feelings 
  • treat yourself as a kind father would
  • form trusting male friendships
  • break the anger habit, and
  • forgive the world, and yourself.

I do not want to come across as a femme or a wuss, because I do think that men need to be men, but we need to be men that can relate to both sexes and be in touch with our feelings and not be afraid to show it. So check this book out, you pansies, and stop whining.

Check it out here on Amazon

or here at the Publisher's site

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